After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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