Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
