PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
