he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i drank out of a bidet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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