he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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