Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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