yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
