Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
