help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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