Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
