shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
