i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
