Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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