Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
