I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
