Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
