walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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