Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
