Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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