we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize