I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
