I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize