I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize