is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
