how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
