Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
