Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
