Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
