He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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