I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
