Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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