Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
