me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
