The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
