I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
