i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
