I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
