have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
