Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
