Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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