I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Let's get the cat blown out
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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