just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
