people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
