this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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