I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
