Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
