Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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