We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
