My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
