i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
