the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
