Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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