I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize