Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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