Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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