Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
