I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
