She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
