Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
