The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
