So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
