Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
