girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
