We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
