Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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