If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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