I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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