Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I want is dick and wine.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize