The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
how does that bad decision feel?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
