so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
zippers are such a cool invention
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
