you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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