You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
