Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
