just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
