remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
