It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize